Imagine this scenario: You’ve recently been promoted to manage the team you were part of, and during a team meeting, one of your former colleagues—now an employee—publicly refuses to work the evening shift you assigned. Surprised by his tone and choice of words, you suggest discussing it privately later.
As you consider your approach, all the HR policies you just learned at the last HR Boot Camp come to mind. You think, "Maybe I should assert my authority here and teach him some things he should know—give a verbal warning, then a written one, and let him know this could ultimately impact his employment in our company".
But pause for a moment.
If your goal is to build trust with your new team and make your employees “Do what you are asking”, pulling out HR policies as a first response might not be the smartest move.
So, what’s a better approach?
Why Managers Shouldn’t Delegate Trust-Building to HR
Building genuine trust as a leader is essential, but too often, leaders rely on HR protocols to be to their rescue when they are trying to manage the harder conversations and situations. While HR is there to support and guide, leaning on them as a stand-in for direct communication can create mistrust. Real trust requires direct interaction, honesty, and consistent actions from leaders themselves.
When managers pass difficult conversations to HR or rely on them to “fix” issues, employees may see it as avoidance or lack of personal accountability. This approach can create a divide, as employees may feel distanced or even scrutinized by HR instead of valued by their manager.
Instead, it’s the manager’s responsibility to engage in conversations that may feel challenging or difficult, whether it’s delivering feedback, addressing concerns, or offering support (read more about it here). This active engagement shows commitment, transparency, and integrity—all vital to building authentic trust.
How to Build Direct Trust as a Leader
Here are some key ways to establish trust without overly relying on HR procedures:
Have Open, Transparent Conversations: Address issues early and head-on. Reach out to employees directly when feedback is needed or if there are team concerns. Consult with HR along the way, behind the scenes, seeking for the best professional advice.
Be Consistent and Accountable: If an issue is raised, follow up directly and take ownership of both the actions and outcomes. Show that you’re invested in finding solutions.
Use HR as a Coach, Not a Crutch: Seek HR’s guidance for best practices, but handle communication directly with your team. This shows you are committed to the process and willing to do the work.
Lead by Example: Model the openness and resilience you wish to see in your team. When leaders approach challenges head-on, it sets a standard and invites employees to do the same.
HR’s Role: Guidance, Not a Substitute for Management
HR professionals are skilled in providing structure, resources, and support, but their role is to complement—not replace—the manager’s connection with their team. Effective leaders understand that HR’s role is to offer insight and advice to help navigate situations while the leader stays at the forefront of communication. By working with HR as a resource rather than a go-between, leaders remain directly involved in creating an open, accountable environment.
Final Thought
In the end, HR can be a powerful ally, but trust-building is personal. It happens through consistent, authentic interaction with your team. Leaders who engage directly, communicate openly, and take responsibility create a culture of trust that lasts well beyond any single conversation. Don’t “use” HR as a shortcut; instead, see them as a valuable partner in your journey to becoming a trusted, impactful leader.
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