#13 Blog. When do you use the “How to Manage Difficult Conversations?” skill?

Self- Reflection time:

If you take a moment to read this short article at the end of your day, I would like to invite you to reflect on the interactions you've had throughout the day (or if it's morning, think about yesterday):

• Think back to 2 of the most challenging conversations you've experienced.
  

• Why did you find them difficult? What was the toughest aspect of each conversation?

• Have you encountered similar situations before?

Upon reflection, you might come to realize that these situations occur much more frequently than you had initially thought—they happen quite often.

If someone were to wake me up in the middle of the night and ask about one of the Top 3 essential skills for a leader?, Managing Difficult Conversations would undoubtedly be on the list. Managing difficult conversations is crucial for everyone, but it's especially vital for leaders and managers. 

Why is it so difficult?

Because it’s uncomfortable, and nobody likes to feel that way.

Consequently, many strive to avoid such situations altogether. Effectively managing difficult conversations demands considerable courage, as it requires us to navigate a vulnerable space, much like the individuals on the other side of the discussion.

Quick Case Study:

Let's delve into a real-life scenario. During one of my individual consulting sessions a few years back, a manager sought my assistance to address negative management incidents. After several meetings, during which he provided numerous examples of how his manager was offering feedback, we both came to the realization that his manager was avoiding discussing a particular topic.

We recognized the difficulty this posed for his manager and brainstormed strategies to tackle the subject. Practicing and simulating the conversation was very helpful at the result.

However, my main takeaway from this process was that the collaboration between them could have been significantly smoother if only his manager hadn't avoided just one difficult conversation.

Back to the reflection-->

Now, think back to the 2 most challenging conversations you've had today.

• How often did you consider taking action, and talk?
  

• What might have happened if you had acted upon your initial impulse?

(BTW- One of these conversations may very well have been with your partner at home, wouldn't you agree? 😊)

You will probably we surprised, however as leaders, we often encounter various challenging situations during the they:

1. Performance Feedback: Yearly, weekly or daily, we are providing feedback constantly, and it’s not easy.

2. Conflict Resolution: Mediating conflicts within our team is common and happens a lot. We need to find common ground and maintain professionalism.

3. Layoffs or Termination: Delivering difficult news to a person or a team, while providing support resources.

4. Salary or Promotion Discussions: Handling sensitive discussions by explaining decisions transparently, providing feedback, and maintaining fairness.

5. Ethical Dilemmas: Addressing ethical issues involves clear communication, thorough investigation, and adherence to organizational values.

6. Personal Issues: Handling personal issues of our people while respecting boundaries.

7. Change Management: Effectively communicating changes, listening to concerns, and involving employees in decision-making facilitate smooth transitions.

3 key strategies for navigating difficult conversations effectively:

1.     Use empathy and active listening, address matters openly to foster understanding and strengthen relationships where both parties feel heard and understood. Openly addressing issues can lead to greater understanding and stronger relationships.

2.     Don't hesitate to challenge the other side directly, however set clear boundaries to maintain respect and professionalism in the conversation.

3.     Patience and respect are both essential when you try to collaborate at the end outcome of any difficult conversation.

To conclude:

No matter the nature of the challenging discussion, effective communication, active listening, empathy, and respect are vital for achieving a successful resolution. Leaders can navigate such situations with professionalism and integrity by preparing thoroughly, communicating clearly, and focusing on finding solutions.

Finding the courage to address difficult conversations isn't easy, but considering the potential consequences of avoidance may encourage you to take action. Consulting with someone on how to approach these discussions is essential.

I would love to support you and brainstorm ways to make the conversation more manageable.

Let's talk.