#47 Blog. Don’t Avoid! Mediating Conflict: A Manager’s Essential Skill

Imagine a work life without any conflicts.

Any person you ask for help- will help you.

Your employees will do everything you ask them to do.

You’ll do everything your manager says, no questions asked.

If you think something is wrong, you’ll just say it- knowing it’s a 50/50 chance the other side will really listen.

What kind of organization would that be? Any profits? Any growth?

Probably not.

Conflict is a good thing.

It means people care. It means ideas are being challenged, values are surfacing, and change is happening. But for all that potential to lead somewhere productive, managers must know how to mediate conflict well. Because knowing how to manage conflict isn’t just helpful- it’s super-duper important.

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Conflict Isn’t the Problem - Avoiding It Is

Over a century ago, Mary Parker Follett, often called the Mother of Modern Management, offered a radical view still shaping leadership today. Her belief? Conflict is natural and necessary. Suppressing it only leads to disengagement and lost potential.

Follett’s approach focused not on “winning” a conflict but integrating perspectives to create something better- a true win-win. Rather than compromise (where both sides lose a little), integration means uncovering shared goals and designing creative solutions where everyone gains.

Your Role: From Referee to Integrator

As a manager, your job isn’t to control conflict- it’s to guide it toward clarity and connection. Often, I’ve been asked “How to manage it?”, “Should I do something?”, “Is it ok just to ask them to stop?”. However, I keep reminding them that we are not here to control, we are here to integrate it.

That means:

• Addressing tensions early: Don’t wait. A quick, calm check-in like “I’ve noticed some tension- let’s talk” can prevent deeper divides.

• Staying neutral: Be curious, not conclusive. “I want to hear both of your sides before we decide how to move forward” signals fairness and openness.

• Focusing on facts and shared outcomes: Anchor conversations in what happened and what success looks like for everyone. This echoes Follett’s Law of the Situation- decisions should respond to reality, not hierarchy.

• Creating safe space: Invite honest, judgment-free dialogue. “Let’s agree to no interruptions and focus on behaviors”.

• Following up: One conversation won’t fix it all. “How have things been since our talk?” keeps progress on track.

Conflict can be a dance!

Follett also emphasized what she called circular response — the idea that real communication is dynamic. It’s not “I speak, you listen,” but a mutual process where both people evolve through the conversation. That’s where real conflict resolution — and innovation- lives.

What to Avoid

• Taking sides too quickly

• Ignoring issues in hopes they disappear

• Letting emotions lead the conversation

• Blaming before listening

• Skipping follow-up

Conflict Isn’t the End. It’s the Beginning of Real Leadership.

Leadership can be shaped in 1:1 coaching sessions. But a group? A team in conversation, in conflict, in collaboration? That creates a momentum no single interaction can match.

Handled well, conflict is not a detour- it’s the path to growth.