#43 Blog. Feeling Excitement, Doubt, Pride, Fear, Overwhelm, and Joy as a First-Time Manager? It’s All Normal.

When I was an organizational consultant at the Israeli Police a few years back, one of the most rewarding parts of my role was being that go-to person for first-time commanders. After a long journey of over six months of training, they landed back into leading a unit of police officers for the first time. I would often receive their texts and calls asking what they considered “stupid” questions.

I was constantly normalizing their experiences- reassuring them that there is no such thing as a stupid question when it comes to managing people, especially when you are responsible for their lives. However, it wasn’t just about me providing answers; it was about creating a space where they could support each other. What really made a difference was creating a sense of peer support, in the form of a leadership development program. Together, we normalized everything that felt unusual or overwhelming.

Stepping into a management role for the first time is like opening the door to a whirlwind of emotions. Excitement, doubt, pride, fear, overwhelm, and joy can all coexist, sometimes within the same day- sometimes even within the same meeting.

As a leadership development consultant, I've worked with many first-time managers, and there’s something I always make sure to tell them: What you’re feeling is completely normal. The transition from individual contributor to manager is one of the most significant shifts you’ll make in your career. And with that shift comes a lot of feelings.

Why It Feels So Overwhelming

Imagine learning to ride a bike as a child. There’s exhilaration in feeling the wind on your face but also terror in the instability. You’re responsible for keeping balance, steering, pedaling, and watching for obstacles- simultaneously. When you become a manager, it’s like learning to ride that bike all over again, but now with passengers on board.

The overwhelm comes from juggling new responsibilities:

• Guiding and developing others when you’re still figuring things out yourself.

• Balancing your own workload while also supporting your team.

• Navigating conflicting priorities and making tough decisions.

• Trying to prove yourself while feeling like you have no idea what you’re doing.

  
  

Many new managers feel like imposters, wondering if they’re truly equipped for the role. You might feel frustrated with yourself for not having all the answers. You might fear losing credibility if you admit you don’t know something. And you might feel guilt or shame for not handling situations perfectly. You’re Not Alone.

All these feelings are valid and legit. You are not alone in experiencing them. In fact, most first-time managers go through this rollercoaster. Even experienced leaders will tell you that the early days of management are filled with doubt and insecurity. It's part of the learning process. You are not expected to have all the answers or be perfect from day one. Leadership is a skill, and like any skill, it takes time to develop.

What Can Help

So, how can you navigate these emotions and build confidence along the way?

Here are a few tips:

1. Embrace Being a Beginner: It’s okay not to have all the answers. Allow yourself to learn and grow, rather than expecting perfection.

2. Try to enjoy the joyful moment of doing things for the first time! It’s exciting as well!

3. Seek Feedback and Mentorship: Find mentors or peers who can share their experiences. You’ll be surprised how many executives’ leaders still experience doubt.

4. Reflect Regularly: Take time to pause and consider what’s working and what’s not. Reflection helps you learn from your experiences.

5. Build Self-Compassion: Treat yourself with the same kindness and encouragement you would offer a direct report on who’s learning something new.

6. Celebrate Small Wins: Recognize and acknowledge your progress, even if it feels small. Every step forward matters.

7. The power of a peer group: where leaders can share their doubts, mistakes, and success proved to be one of the most effective ways to build their confidence.

   
   

To Conclude:

Being a first-time manager is joyful and exciting! but it also can be hard. It’s emotional. And that’s okay. It’s all part of the journey. The key is not to avoid discomfort but to embrace it as part of your growth.

You’re allowed to feel confused, overwhelmed, proud, inspired, frustrated, and joyful. And you’re allowed to ask for help along the way, even if you think it’s a stupid question.

Above all, remember that you’re not alone. You are part of a much bigger community of leaders who have been right where you are.

I really hope this one helps you understand your own perspective as a new manager. You are welcome to reach out—I’m here to support you.